At the end of the movie and watching the stories of each child I would say in my personal perspective of what good parenting is the child that grew up in Namibia had the best culture in which to grow up in. The child that grew up in Japan was the second best followed by the culture in Mongolia. The child that grew up in the Untied States would have been the worst.
While watching the movie and the different scenes where the producers decided to show a specific act a baby does the child from the United States was scarcely in many of the scenes. The baby that grew up in the American culture had the slowest development where as the other children learned things at an earlier time and progressed faster then Hattie. Though from the bare outlooks it would have been said that the American family should have had the best parenting because they went to all the doctors, read the books about how to be good parents and spent much quality time with their child. There was also a scene where Hattie and her dad went to a class and the parents and children where supposed to be signing and waving their hands, it reminded me of Mr. Marks talking about the music classes he takes his daughter to and how during those sessions he felt stupid but because they are supposed to help development and music appreciation they continue to go. But even all the things the parents had done, going on the kids were around the same age and should have been on the same average schedule, Hattie had the slowest development. She was the last to crawl and walk and also we never really saw her allowed to explore by herself with little toys and her speech development was later. While the other kids were starting to learn their different languages and movements Hattie was still only mumbling and incomprehensible.
The best culture I thought was the child that grew up in Namibia. There were many drastic differences between this culture and the other three. I would have to say that this culture has the most natural way of child birth and bringing up their children. There was no hospitals, no wires and medicines, nothing artificial. The mother also decided to breast feed her child. The main differences with culture it seemed is that there was no adult males in the community. There was also groups or in this movie a pair of two women who always were together and helped each other take care of their kids, the babies grew up in a community where the mother was the dominant figure but there were others who helped raise and take care of the baby and it was not to so much elders doing the watching it was other children who helped. The baby at an early age was allowed to explore and play with things on their own with out such a close and prison like attention from parents. If I remember correctly I believe the baby was one of the first to start crawling but to also stand and walk around. I choose this culture because it happened to be the most natural and there was a faster development but I also feel that there was another deeper connection not so much love cause every mother in the movie loved their child but there was (cant explain it) I guess in a way you could tell the baby was paying attention and learning.
Some of the common methods that the parents choose to use in their parenting decisions were used through out all of them though there were some who did one thing or another. Singing was a common method where the mothers would sing to their babies (though Hattie's parents did not sing to her). Another one was where the mothers would allow their children to room around their houses and explore. Another thing I noticed while the babies where just out of the hospital and in the early development stages, there were a little of little toys and strings and bells to occupy the babies attention. It reminded me of how I am with my cats. I play with my cats by getting them little toys with bells and catnip and they start to kick it around and meow at it, and I thought it was interesting that the same method we use for cats we use with babies. Then of course each household and baby had many interactions with animals. Most of the families had cats and often the baby and cat would be together and cuddle or play or else there was the animals that lived in the same area as the families did. I feel like most of these strategies were what helped their children to have an early development but also a good childhood. Although if you notice that most of the things listed the family from the United States used little to none of these methods.
I think it is important to realize what other cultures do because it can help people relax that in life we really arent all that different. And that if people are looking to raise a baby the best way, it helps to see what common methods are and to see what works so that they can incorpriate it into their own parenting.
Friday, June 4, 2010
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Parenting
I guess my answer will be a cliche. Children should grow up in loving and caring environments where they have the opportunity to grow up in an open space where they have the chance to think for themselves. I know for me it wasnt like the typical family I saw on TV, no big loving family that gets together every weekend, no family of three with a mom and a dad and possibly a sibling. I grew up with none of that but I have to say I wouldnt trade my family for the world. Not saying there were certain moments in my life where I would look around and see kids playing with their dad and think to myself, hmm I wish I had one or to come home to a sibling where it wasnt me by myself. But my family was great and what I mean by family is my mom, me and my cats. And for the longest time I grandparents. We would go every weekend and my grandfather used to own a restaurant so I always loved the food he made. That was my family since the rest of the family never hung out at my grandparents and I would only see them during the holidays. So I grew up with my mom, single parent who did put me in day care since she had to work. None of that was bad. I met new people and learned new things and because of that, I have always been open to new things and meeting new people cause they have so much to teach us. Also because my mother was a single hard working parent I admired her Independence and hard work. And even though she worked she never let that get in the way of our time together. We always had so much fun going places and exploring.
Im not so sure what a family should be since mine has always been consistent of just my mom and me. I know the saying it takes a village to raise a child but my mom did fine on her own. Though i do believe in raising a child there needs to be some community. A child needs love, care and attention, and those things come from many different people since there are many different forms. And this way a child is not only gaining one persons insights but many perspectives on life and the world and are able to form a opinion about life on their own.
The first article was interesting because though it doesn't work on her kids, in schools, teachers use the same strategy on students and the students do not even notice it is happening to them. They go along with it and have it in their heads that they are empowered and have control and make decisions about their lives even though, they still were given those options, they did not choose anything but what was given to them. So the strategy in my opinion shows this to children and opens their eyes to the fact that in reality they do not have a choice, no free will since the parent is still in charge and monitoring the options given. But one of the children instead of choosing the two options given to her, choose something completely different and in the hand was handed it.
I have mixed feelings about the Ferber method. I feel like that is wrong of a parent to leave their kid crying and to let them just cry themselves out. It would be horrible for me to sit and listen to my child cry and cry until it knows no one is coming for it. But I feel in a bigger perspective of this, the concept that the child and baby will learn from it is an important skill that most grown adults still need to grow used to. And that is there is no hand holding in life, no one walks around with you holdign your hand and making sure your ok and doing all the right things. More then not, you'll be there doing it yourself.
Im not so sure what a family should be since mine has always been consistent of just my mom and me. I know the saying it takes a village to raise a child but my mom did fine on her own. Though i do believe in raising a child there needs to be some community. A child needs love, care and attention, and those things come from many different people since there are many different forms. And this way a child is not only gaining one persons insights but many perspectives on life and the world and are able to form a opinion about life on their own.
The first article was interesting because though it doesn't work on her kids, in schools, teachers use the same strategy on students and the students do not even notice it is happening to them. They go along with it and have it in their heads that they are empowered and have control and make decisions about their lives even though, they still were given those options, they did not choose anything but what was given to them. So the strategy in my opinion shows this to children and opens their eyes to the fact that in reality they do not have a choice, no free will since the parent is still in charge and monitoring the options given. But one of the children instead of choosing the two options given to her, choose something completely different and in the hand was handed it.
I have mixed feelings about the Ferber method. I feel like that is wrong of a parent to leave their kid crying and to let them just cry themselves out. It would be horrible for me to sit and listen to my child cry and cry until it knows no one is coming for it. But I feel in a bigger perspective of this, the concept that the child and baby will learn from it is an important skill that most grown adults still need to grow used to. And that is there is no hand holding in life, no one walks around with you holdign your hand and making sure your ok and doing all the right things. More then not, you'll be there doing it yourself.
Interview and Survey Questions
Interview Questions:
1. How often do you fight with your friends in a week?
2. What things do you do to stop the fighting? What do you do to prevent fighting?
3. How many times do you feel happy with your friends? What are you usually doing to be happy?
4. What do you do when you feel the mood turn negative in a friendship?
5. What advice would you give to someone who cant get out of a negative relationship?
Andy:
How often do you fight with your friends in a week?
At least once a week I would say
What things do you do to stop the fighting? What do you do to prevent fighting?
Well depending on who it is, I would take on different approaches. If it's someone that I care about, and that I would like to be on a good note with, I would confront them about the issue that caused for the fighting. However, if it's a friend who would lean more towards acquaintance, I would just avoid them, or ignore them.
How many times do you feel happy with your friends? What are you usually doing to be happy?
I would say 50-50. Half the time I would feel happy being around people, and the other half, I would want to just go home and not have to deal with them. But out of the times that I'm actually happy being with my friends is when we just hang around, talking, and sharing our thoughts. This tend to involve three or less people. But there are also times where I'm happy with a bunch of people; it seems that that's only possible when handball is present.
What do you do when you feel the mood turn negative in a friendship?
Usually I would go down with the mood of the group. But i guess what I do, physically is walk away. Just trying to get away from everyone
What advice would you give to someone who cant get out of a negative relationship?
Adam:
How often do you fight with your friends in a week?
Not at all
What things do you do to stop the fighting? What do you do to prevent fighting?
I don't see a need in violence, so if there is a conflict we can talk it out, understanding both sides
How many times do you feel happy with your friends? What are you usually doing to be happy?
I feel happy most of the time, unless something unexpected comes up. And we are having fun, just talking or doing something together
What do you do when you feel the mood turn negative in a friendship?
Try to resolve it, or when its out of my hands, i wait or find new friends
What advice would you give to someone who cant get out of a negative relationship?
Well if they really wanted to still be in that relationship, then I'd tell them to wait and try to convince that person, but honestly if they were in a negative relationship I'd tell them to move on.
Carrie:
How often do you fight with your friends in a week?
well arguments usually zero but I'd say 1 time per week i get upset
What things do you do to stop the fighting? What do you do to prevent fighting?
i try to stay optimistic and just get pass it without blowing things up . usually the tension slowly fades if it's a real problem though, i try to talk to the person
How many times do you feel happy with your friends? What are you usually doing to be happy?
well i can't really count happy moments. I'd say I'm usually happy with them 80 percent of the time. conversations, jokes, sharing stories, volleyball, eating
What do you do when you feel the mood turn negative in a friendship?
well i usually get upset too but the little stuff that gets me mad usually doesn't outweigh the friendship so i usually turn around and forgive them secretly and start having fun with them again
What advice would you give to someone who cant get out of a negative relationship?
either talk it through or get out of it. if they stick with it, it's only going to tear them down
Looking back on the last question, what advice would you give to someone who cant get out of a negative relationship, for the most part people's answer's was to fine new friends because it would not be worth it to yourself to stay in a relationship which drags you down. I feel like this would be the worst case scenario for my research topic, that if I find no good ways to increase positive feelings and only end up struggling with mostly negative and some positive that it would be in that persons best interest to leave the friendship. So I guess for my topic I would want to save it before it would get to that point.
Survey Question:
When one of my friends is down, it effects the whole group mood but also my own.
1. How often do you fight with your friends in a week?
2. What things do you do to stop the fighting? What do you do to prevent fighting?
3. How many times do you feel happy with your friends? What are you usually doing to be happy?
4. What do you do when you feel the mood turn negative in a friendship?
5. What advice would you give to someone who cant get out of a negative relationship?
Andy:
How often do you fight with your friends in a week?
At least once a week I would say
What things do you do to stop the fighting? What do you do to prevent fighting?
Well depending on who it is, I would take on different approaches. If it's someone that I care about, and that I would like to be on a good note with, I would confront them about the issue that caused for the fighting. However, if it's a friend who would lean more towards acquaintance, I would just avoid them, or ignore them.
How many times do you feel happy with your friends? What are you usually doing to be happy?
I would say 50-50. Half the time I would feel happy being around people, and the other half, I would want to just go home and not have to deal with them. But out of the times that I'm actually happy being with my friends is when we just hang around, talking, and sharing our thoughts. This tend to involve three or less people. But there are also times where I'm happy with a bunch of people; it seems that that's only possible when handball is present.
What do you do when you feel the mood turn negative in a friendship?
Usually I would go down with the mood of the group. But i guess what I do, physically is walk away. Just trying to get away from everyone
What advice would you give to someone who cant get out of a negative relationship?
Adam:
How often do you fight with your friends in a week?
Not at all
What things do you do to stop the fighting? What do you do to prevent fighting?
I don't see a need in violence, so if there is a conflict we can talk it out, understanding both sides
How many times do you feel happy with your friends? What are you usually doing to be happy?
I feel happy most of the time, unless something unexpected comes up. And we are having fun, just talking or doing something together
What do you do when you feel the mood turn negative in a friendship?
Try to resolve it, or when its out of my hands, i wait or find new friends
What advice would you give to someone who cant get out of a negative relationship?
Well if they really wanted to still be in that relationship, then I'd tell them to wait and try to convince that person, but honestly if they were in a negative relationship I'd tell them to move on.
Carrie:
How often do you fight with your friends in a week?
well arguments usually zero but I'd say 1 time per week i get upset
What things do you do to stop the fighting? What do you do to prevent fighting?
i try to stay optimistic and just get pass it without blowing things up . usually the tension slowly fades if it's a real problem though, i try to talk to the person
How many times do you feel happy with your friends? What are you usually doing to be happy?
well i can't really count happy moments. I'd say I'm usually happy with them 80 percent of the time. conversations, jokes, sharing stories, volleyball, eating
What do you do when you feel the mood turn negative in a friendship?
well i usually get upset too but the little stuff that gets me mad usually doesn't outweigh the friendship so i usually turn around and forgive them secretly and start having fun with them again
What advice would you give to someone who cant get out of a negative relationship?
either talk it through or get out of it. if they stick with it, it's only going to tear them down
Looking back on the last question, what advice would you give to someone who cant get out of a negative relationship, for the most part people's answer's was to fine new friends because it would not be worth it to yourself to stay in a relationship which drags you down. I feel like this would be the worst case scenario for my research topic, that if I find no good ways to increase positive feelings and only end up struggling with mostly negative and some positive that it would be in that persons best interest to leave the friendship. So I guess for my topic I would want to save it before it would get to that point.
Survey Question:
When one of my friends is down, it effects the whole group mood but also my own.
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
54
Introverted (I) 63.33% Extroverted (E) 36.67%
Intuitive (N) 57.89% Sensing (S) 42.11%
Feeling (F) 66.67% Thinking (T) 33.33%
Judging (J) 59.38% Perceiving (P) 40.63%
INFJ
Looking at what other people got for some, I am surprised about how accurate it seems to pick up on how we behave and for others I feel like there were some mistakes when the test came to its conclusion of that persons personality. I don't really agree that if people have varied resulted then complications would arise or that they might not easily get along. I am an introverted person, quiet and likes to be out of the spot light yet two of my friends in my life have been extroverted, loud and center of attention. i can see how people would think both personalities would clash and problems would arise between the two but in my experience, no more problems have occurred then with any of my other friends. Though I must admit that my closer friendships have been with people of closer results to mine. I was not very surprised when my results came back. I actually took the survey later then i was supposed to so while in class and everyone was going over their results and comparing and guessing what other's was, I had looked at the sheet and tried to label myself. I had come down to two options and cant remember one but the other was INFJ which is the result I got after taking the survey. For the most part this test was successful in reading people's personalities. Though I feel we don't need a survey like this to figure out ourselves and other people's personalities. We also did this in class, we looked around the room and it was easy to spot the introverted and extroverted people. The harder ones to figure out were the other categories unless you knew the person or had a good sense of people and character.
Intuitive (N) 57.89% Sensing (S) 42.11%
Feeling (F) 66.67% Thinking (T) 33.33%
Judging (J) 59.38% Perceiving (P) 40.63%
INFJ
Looking at what other people got for some, I am surprised about how accurate it seems to pick up on how we behave and for others I feel like there were some mistakes when the test came to its conclusion of that persons personality. I don't really agree that if people have varied resulted then complications would arise or that they might not easily get along. I am an introverted person, quiet and likes to be out of the spot light yet two of my friends in my life have been extroverted, loud and center of attention. i can see how people would think both personalities would clash and problems would arise between the two but in my experience, no more problems have occurred then with any of my other friends. Though I must admit that my closer friendships have been with people of closer results to mine. I was not very surprised when my results came back. I actually took the survey later then i was supposed to so while in class and everyone was going over their results and comparing and guessing what other's was, I had looked at the sheet and tried to label myself. I had come down to two options and cant remember one but the other was INFJ which is the result I got after taking the survey. For the most part this test was successful in reading people's personalities. Though I feel we don't need a survey like this to figure out ourselves and other people's personalities. We also did this in class, we looked around the room and it was easy to spot the introverted and extroverted people. The harder ones to figure out were the other categories unless you knew the person or had a good sense of people and character.
Monday, May 10, 2010
55
Ideas on topics:
Do emotions drive our lives or rational thinking?
What sets the social rankings in friendships and significant others?
Why are we so scared to let people see the real us that we allow ourselves to be taken over by the persona we put forth?
Why do people have expectations? When do you stop expecting things from people?
When is enough enough?
why are people hypocrites?
Is friendship worth the emotional drama we feel for the little time we actually feel good to be in the company of others?
Yuxi:
Yu xi I think you have a very interesting question. Though you might want to get more specific or choose different words, like bonding for instance, you mean close bonding? or just bonding in general with friends we make from a day to day basis. I wonder if you would actually after researching this come to the conclusion it is for the individuals own gain or if it is something more intimate.
Revised question:
Are there proven strategies for increasing positive feelings and reducing negative drama in friendships?
Research:
Morton J. Mendelson and Aaron C. Kay. Positive Feelings in Friendship: Does Imbalance in the Relationship Matter? Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, Feb 2003; 20: 101 - 116. http://spr.sagepub.com/cgi/citemap?id=spspr;20/1/101
This website only gives a brief abstract to what the main article is talking about. Unfortunately the only way to look at the whole article is to purchase it so this all I will be going on. The abstract was somewhat confusing going into technical terms about an experiment they did with friendships. The results were varied and a result they came up with was that happiness and positive feelings were higher in friendships were the functions of the friendship were fulfilled.
Do emotions drive our lives or rational thinking?
What sets the social rankings in friendships and significant others?
Why are we so scared to let people see the real us that we allow ourselves to be taken over by the persona we put forth?
Why do people have expectations? When do you stop expecting things from people?
When is enough enough?
why are people hypocrites?
Is friendship worth the emotional drama we feel for the little time we actually feel good to be in the company of others?
Yuxi:
Yu xi I think you have a very interesting question. Though you might want to get more specific or choose different words, like bonding for instance, you mean close bonding? or just bonding in general with friends we make from a day to day basis. I wonder if you would actually after researching this come to the conclusion it is for the individuals own gain or if it is something more intimate.
Revised question:
Are there proven strategies for increasing positive feelings and reducing negative drama in friendships?
Research:
Morton J. Mendelson and Aaron C. Kay. Positive Feelings in Friendship: Does Imbalance in the Relationship Matter? Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, Feb 2003; 20: 101 - 116. http://spr.sagepub.com/cgi/citemap?id=spspr;20/1/101
This website only gives a brief abstract to what the main article is talking about. Unfortunately the only way to look at the whole article is to purchase it so this all I will be going on. The abstract was somewhat confusing going into technical terms about an experiment they did with friendships. The results were varied and a result they came up with was that happiness and positive feelings were higher in friendships were the functions of the friendship were fulfilled.
Monday, May 3, 2010
Survey Analysis
Thinking back on taking the survey, I felt like I needed to explain myself and give more of an answer then just a simple yes, no and maybe. This is because nothing is ever just 2 dimensional, there is always something more to it. Some questions opened up more questions rather then leaving you with a feeling like you know who you are better cause it's all there written and answered for you.
For the question, Your parent(s)/ guardian(s) know who you really are? I feel like I would ask Do any of us really know each other?
And I would wonder what other people answer for their questions. How much different are their perspectives on the same thing like friendship then yours. It would be interesting to find out you think one thing of a friendship then the other person involved. Like if you found out you listed them as your best friend but you hadn't made it on theirs. What then? How are you supposed to feel about that? What would you do about that? These questions will always be in the air since in reality we will never know what the other answered to the questions given.
The question, you feel happy by yourself? I feel like that can go both ways. Cause I know often I feel like I want to be alone and being alone is good and brings me peace of mind. But on the other hand, sometimes I get tired of being alone and wish that there was something to do so I wouldn't have to sit on my own.
For the question, other people like you? I feel like you could never really know that. This is because since in my theory we all wear masks and sometimes fake certain things about ourselves, that you be friends with someone but that doesnt mean you may actually like them. Or you think people like you but in reality everyone might secretly dislike you but they dont want to tell you.
Looking back on the results of the survey one thing stood out to me. And the conclusion that I came up with was that everyone lies. Everyone though the survey was anonymous and most people did it in the confines of their own space where people weren't looking, we still feel the need to protect ourselves and to layer ourselves with false answers. One look around school and how we interact with each other you can spot the lies that the results of the survey had said were true. The question,
For the question, Your parent(s)/ guardian(s) know who you really are? I feel like I would ask Do any of us really know each other?
And I would wonder what other people answer for their questions. How much different are their perspectives on the same thing like friendship then yours. It would be interesting to find out you think one thing of a friendship then the other person involved. Like if you found out you listed them as your best friend but you hadn't made it on theirs. What then? How are you supposed to feel about that? What would you do about that? These questions will always be in the air since in reality we will never know what the other answered to the questions given.
The question, you feel happy by yourself? I feel like that can go both ways. Cause I know often I feel like I want to be alone and being alone is good and brings me peace of mind. But on the other hand, sometimes I get tired of being alone and wish that there was something to do so I wouldn't have to sit on my own.
For the question, other people like you? I feel like you could never really know that. This is because since in my theory we all wear masks and sometimes fake certain things about ourselves, that you be friends with someone but that doesnt mean you may actually like them. Or you think people like you but in reality everyone might secretly dislike you but they dont want to tell you.
Looking back on the results of the survey one thing stood out to me. And the conclusion that I came up with was that everyone lies. Everyone though the survey was anonymous and most people did it in the confines of their own space where people weren't looking, we still feel the need to protect ourselves and to layer ourselves with false answers. One look around school and how we interact with each other you can spot the lies that the results of the survey had said were true. The question,
Initial theories of human relationships
I would like to start off with a comment that Vincent made in class. We had been talking about families and relationships between members. Then we were getting into the definition of what friendship means and what are friends. He made a very interesting comment where he said friends are a replacement family. I fully agree. Family in a way are people you have to live your life with, whether or not you actually like them or not. But with friends we have the ability to choose who we want to be our friends. And usually friends and people we get close with we consider out second family. They are picked to be replacements of certain family members we feel could be better or in some cases completely to escape our families at home. I find it interesting that as I grew up, it was mostly just my mother and I. It was the two of us doing everything together, yet when I got into school and started making friends, i didn't just have one or two close friends but I had semi fairly big groups. In some ways it seems I was making up for some lost company since at home, we didn't have a big family. Though at times I often find myself wanting alone time cause big groups can be tiring and I'm more comfortable with being alone.
Relationships, its hard to explain since it different for each individual. But I agree with those in class who said that most of the time we make friends because it fits our own agenda. And in certain cases if two people's agendas coincide, then they turn out to be good friends but as often as the case is, if the agendas go against each other then much tension will be surrounding them and they would probably not make the choice to be friends. Humans for the most part are very social creatures. We crave and want attention, we long for affirmation and the most important thing is we want to be belong to someone, we want to be apart of something (like a family, friendships) and in this way we can better define ourselves if we have a backing in our lives.
But even then certain lets say personalities are more dominant then others and usually you find them at the head of a group with many smaller followers. This way the group "leader" gets attention and the followers can feel accepted. Its not so hard to look around either on the street or in school or on the train and could identify those attention seekers. They stand in the middle of the crowd and their actions and words are screaming, "come look at me". In my opinion, these people lower their value as they try to present themselves to the world.
Love. I dont think there is no set definition of love. But I also feel that there are many types of love. People create relationships to try and get closer to having this feeling. To be loved and to love someone else. But I feel like with emotions like this, there is room for manipulation between partners. Love and hate are emotions that cloud people's judgments. We turn blind and cant think about reason. But I feel like in the world today, these types of emotions dont exist at least at this level. Too many kids and people throw the term around. It doesn't hold any significance.
Sometimes in life I get so fed up with people. Just too many times people have let me down and they expect that things can go on as before. Friends. We have to figure out how many chances they get, how many lies are enough, how many bad times there are where the good ones dont out shine them, etc. Friends are hard to manage. Especially if in there somewhere people are different answers to what friends are and their agendas. But that can be said with any of the people we interact with in our daily life. I always found it so amazing that, my cousin could go any where in the city and come back with tons of new friends. While most often the majority come back with the same amount as they had started. It has to do with her character and the vibes she sends out. I think on some level of our minds most people are empathetic and pick up on things like that and is why they are so open to her. Though it can also be how we see the world. I can walk anywhere in the city and I can come back frustrated and annoyed at how people act.
There could also have something to do with social rank. I noticed that most grownups think they are more valued and that since Im younger I have to show them respect. I could be walking down the street and if me and someone else are about to hit into each other, then they expect me to move. I mean at least some of them try to get out of the way but others just keep walking and expect you to move, like they are some kind of GOD who think the deserve for people to get out of their way. Then if you happen to be dodging them and still hit into them, they get all annoyed and will talk back to you.
People are hypocrites. They always hold expectations in their heads for other people yet when the roles are reversed those same rules don't apply to them.
For the amount of drama and feelings in relationships we have, why do people decide to put up with them just to have a few moments of happiness?
Can people truly connect with each other or are we all just alone in the world?
Relationships, its hard to explain since it different for each individual. But I agree with those in class who said that most of the time we make friends because it fits our own agenda. And in certain cases if two people's agendas coincide, then they turn out to be good friends but as often as the case is, if the agendas go against each other then much tension will be surrounding them and they would probably not make the choice to be friends. Humans for the most part are very social creatures. We crave and want attention, we long for affirmation and the most important thing is we want to be belong to someone, we want to be apart of something (like a family, friendships) and in this way we can better define ourselves if we have a backing in our lives.
But even then certain lets say personalities are more dominant then others and usually you find them at the head of a group with many smaller followers. This way the group "leader" gets attention and the followers can feel accepted. Its not so hard to look around either on the street or in school or on the train and could identify those attention seekers. They stand in the middle of the crowd and their actions and words are screaming, "come look at me". In my opinion, these people lower their value as they try to present themselves to the world.
Love. I dont think there is no set definition of love. But I also feel that there are many types of love. People create relationships to try and get closer to having this feeling. To be loved and to love someone else. But I feel like with emotions like this, there is room for manipulation between partners. Love and hate are emotions that cloud people's judgments. We turn blind and cant think about reason. But I feel like in the world today, these types of emotions dont exist at least at this level. Too many kids and people throw the term around. It doesn't hold any significance.
Sometimes in life I get so fed up with people. Just too many times people have let me down and they expect that things can go on as before. Friends. We have to figure out how many chances they get, how many lies are enough, how many bad times there are where the good ones dont out shine them, etc. Friends are hard to manage. Especially if in there somewhere people are different answers to what friends are and their agendas. But that can be said with any of the people we interact with in our daily life. I always found it so amazing that, my cousin could go any where in the city and come back with tons of new friends. While most often the majority come back with the same amount as they had started. It has to do with her character and the vibes she sends out. I think on some level of our minds most people are empathetic and pick up on things like that and is why they are so open to her. Though it can also be how we see the world. I can walk anywhere in the city and I can come back frustrated and annoyed at how people act.
There could also have something to do with social rank. I noticed that most grownups think they are more valued and that since Im younger I have to show them respect. I could be walking down the street and if me and someone else are about to hit into each other, then they expect me to move. I mean at least some of them try to get out of the way but others just keep walking and expect you to move, like they are some kind of GOD who think the deserve for people to get out of their way. Then if you happen to be dodging them and still hit into them, they get all annoyed and will talk back to you.
People are hypocrites. They always hold expectations in their heads for other people yet when the roles are reversed those same rules don't apply to them.
For the amount of drama and feelings in relationships we have, why do people decide to put up with them just to have a few moments of happiness?
Can people truly connect with each other or are we all just alone in the world?
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